New Possibilities...

Over the last few weeks, I've been feeling stuck. It's not the usual "I want a new job" feeling. I feel like I just need to do something different, in addition to my current position. I've been thinking about going back to school to be school counselor - mostly because it's easy. I've taken most of the classes already. It would fit into my current work schedule and eventually, I'd be able to take my summers off and be the jet-setting adventurer that I really am while still getting paid. Sounds perfect, right? Maybe, it's just a little too perfect and settled for this free-spirit.

I want to be independent, not relying on an unreliable school system or dealing with school politics and a ridiculous case load. I need to imagine something different and new - something that may or may not require another degree and meshes my passion for education, violence prevention, and the overall health and well being of women and children. I want to travel and have a global impact.

I want something new. I just wish I knew what that something was...

Man never knows what he wants; he aspires to penetrate mysteries and as soon as he has, he wants to reestablish them. Ignorance irritates him and knowledge cloys. ~Amiel

So this is what forgiveness feels like? I doubt anyone noticed but I actually deleted my blog a couple of weeks ago. I was in bad a place and instead of reaching out I withdrew. I didn't call people. I canceled plans. I stayed in my room and watched TV. I deleted my blogs. Since then, I've come up with all these great reasons why it was a good thing to get rid of it - maybe it would make me journal or finally finish my website. Despite all of that, I can't tell you how hopeful I was when I went to change my profile picture and saw that I had 3 blogs and how excited I was when I saw the "undelete blog" link. It's like getting a second chance. They don't happen often in real life but I'm thankful for this virtual one.

Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past. ~ Unknown

WTF: 50 Cent - Baby by Me

Last night, I saw something on Twitter about 50 Cent's new song sounding like "hababaybuhbymebaybuhbeuhmillionaire." I was confused by the word jumble but didn't pay it much attention. Then this morning on my way to the gym, I heard it loud and clear. Even in my 5:30am pre-workout haze, I was certain this was the song and that it was 100% pure fuckery. I just kept wondering is this supposed to be a pick-up line or the new marriage proposal? Either way it's wack. See for yourself. Of course, it's NSFW.



Then, his website encourages you get relationship advice from 50?!? Um, no thank you. I'll pass. There are so many things wrong with this song. How many can you name? You don't even have to listen to the whole song. I know I couldn't.

Ups & Downs

Earlier this week, I jumped out of a plane with a man strapped to my back. Today, I don't want to leave my room. I want to lay in bed and watch TV and I am contemplating how to teleport food from the fridge to microwave and up to my room. Ugh! I just want to know about this job already and I really don't want to go through this again with another position. So, I hope that I hear some good news. I hate this part. In the meantime, I'm going to try to pick myself up, get moving, and live my vision...