I Love it When Things Come Together

In the post I wrote last night, I mentioned that I wanted to take an improv class. Guess what groupon was emailed to me this morning? Yep. An improv class. It wasn't on groupon's main page so I'm glad it was the featured email today. I'm also glad that all of my bills are paid and I had some expendable income and my $25 groupon credit. So some time in the next year, I'll be taking an improv class. Stay tuned for the adventures and lessons.

Looking Towards 30

Around my 27th birthday, I started making lists of things I wanted to do or accomplish by my next birthday. Some of these things were accomplished. Most were not. On my 29th birthday, I realized that I did not need a list. I can't exactly articulate what it was that I felt. Maybe it was an overall sense of seeking happiness and contentment and realizing that there were only a few things I needed to do to gain that. Maybe it was understanding that peace is not tied to a list of things or accomplishments. Either way, I didn't make a list. However, as 30 approaches, there are some things that I want to accomplish or work towards. I'll be writing about those things and my progress over the next 5 months. Before I do that, I'll share my progress on the last version of the list to date, not necessarily by my 29th birthday.

• I took a drama class. - I want to take an improv class.
• If speed dating counts, I went on 12+ dates.
• While talking to my friend about climbing Mt. St. Helens, he informed me that a man had recently died attempting the feat. So yeah, we didn't do that.
• No children's book has been written or even attempted. For now, my work with survivors and their parents/siblings is enough.
  
• While I've been a lot more social, one event a week was rather ambitious considering the fact that I have 3 or 4 friends and a limited income.
  
• Attending an artistic/cultural event once a week was even more ambitious. So yeah, that has not been done.
• I've tried meditation, journaling, and daily devotions but like this blog, I haven't done it consistently.
• A spiritual process/practice is still a work in progress.
  
• I'm doing better with connecting with friends. I've done well with seeing my Chicago friends once a month and seeing the BBGs at least once a year. I'm still struggling with this device called a phone.
• I didn't learn to swim and haven't even taken lessons. I realized that I do know the correct movements to get across a pool but I struggle with getting my head out of the water. Could this be a metaphor for my life?
• I also did not attend a live music event every couple of months. Clearly, I struggle with getting out. I think I will try to find more places with live music to visit and make my 3-4 friends go with me.
• I've gained weight again. This is one goal that I think I will add to my goals for 30. I've realized that I need to make a lifestyle change and not treat my diet/health like I'm cramming for a test. I've realized that I do that in a lot of areas. More on that in another post.
  
• I took an art class! and the products are still in my trunk. I need to pull that stuff out and finish a couple of pieces and starts a few more.
• The AIDS Run/Walk 2010 fell on my mother's birthday so I didn't participate. I did participate in SkyRise Chicago where I climbed the stair of the Sears Tower! I plan to participate in the AIDS Run/Walk and SkyRise Chicago this year. I'm not setting a donation goal besides the minimum required by SkyRise because they are so close together.
  
• For the most part, I've cooked every week. I could do a better job with varying dishes and learning new recipes. I'm too poor to eat out all the time.
• When I make a personal professional website, I'll post the link. Maybe.
• I can't find anywhere to bungee jump. Let me know if you know of a place.
  
• I've done a poor job of volunteering. The place I was volunteering took forever to get me started. I started in April and the program went on break from May to October. I have to decide if I want to volunteer and in which ways since my daily work is direct service.
• I joined mint.com. I don't really follow it but I've done a decent job of saving consistently, besides a few unexpected expenses.
• I found out how much house I can afford. Wait, let me be clear. I figured out how much I would be comfortable paying each month and was pre-approved based on that amount. To actually be able to afford it, I need a lot more in savings than I currently have for a down payment, closing costs, and an emergency fund. So for right now, I can afford to stay at my mama's house, unless an amazing deal comes along.
• I see most of my Chicago friends once a month. Bad weather makes us fall off but we gotta get it together.
• My personal project is still in development.
• I have not traveled outside of North America but the planning for the BBG 30th birthday trip for 2012 is under way.
• I took an epic vacation. I went to Cancun for a week in addition to trips to New York and Califiornia to see the BBGs. I've decided that I should always take a week long vacations if I can afford it and won't strangle my travel companions.
  

There you have it. I didn't do most of the things on the list. That's ok. I'm content. I know that if they were meant to be accomplished, they will be. Regardless, I've learned so much about myself in the process.

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. ~ Edmund Hillary

1st Quarter Check-In

I've recently been reminded of my list so I decided to look it over and see how I've done. It can be summed up in two words - I'm slacking. I haven't done any of the daily or weekly activities but hopefully I'll get there by the end of the year. Here's what I have done.

• I'm going to take a drama class next month.
• I've gone on a few dates.
• I've definitely gotten out more and gone to social events.
• I've made more effort to hang out with friends.
• I've sent hand written cards to friends for birthdays or just because.
• I've gone to one concert.
• I made a vase.
• I've cooked.
• I started volunteering a couple of weeks ago.
• I haven't created a budget but I have been paying off bills and watching my credit score climb. I'll set a financial goal for the end of the year soon.
• I signed up for mortgage loan consultation but the bank never called me. I guess I can't afford a house.
• I actually have gotten to together with most of my Chicago friends once a month.
• I took a BBG trip to the Bay Area. I don't call this a "vacation" but everyone else does.

I have a lot more to do and I will get around to it. How are your New Year's goals and resolutions coming?

Look What I Made!

I took a glassblowing "experience" workshop on Sunday. I've been talking about taking an art class since my 28 by 28 and never got around to it. So when I got this opportunity, I was excited and nervous. My last art class, a ceramics class, did not go so well. I was in a class with more advanced students and an impatient teacher so I was worried that glassblowing would be similar. I was pleasantly surprised. The instructor was patient, encouraging, and allowed me to make what I wanted. I was still a little worried that it wouldn't turn out right because we couldn't see the true color. I picked it up today and I love it. I made it to match my office so I can bring myself fresh flowers. I would love to take an 8-week session but the only thing stopping me is the $575 price tag.

The List

Since it's so far from my birthday and so close to the new year, I'm not sure how to classify this list. However, here is the list of things I hope to accomplish in the coming year. Some things are suggestions from my friends, others are personal goals and many of them are carryovers from this year. Send suggestions if you have them.

• Take a drama class. (Thanks Kismet.)
  
• Go on 12 dates. (Down from 50.) (Thanks MJ.)
  
• Climb Mt. St. Helen's, an active volcano. (Thanks JRP.)
  
• Write a children's book for survivors of sexual abuse. (Thanks MJ.)
• Attend at least one social event per week.
• Attend an artistic/cultural event at least once per week.
• Spend at least 30 minutes per day with myself - journaling, writing, meditating, etc.
• Develop a spiritual process. (Purposefully vague. I don't know what this will look like.) (Thanks b.)
  
• Connect with a friend at least once per week.
• Learn to swim.
• Attend a live music event at least once every 2 months. (Thanks Coop.)
  
• Achieve my goal weight of 135lbs by April 1 and maintain it within a 5lb range.
• Take an art class.
• Participate in the AIDS Run/Walk. Decrease my time (38:23) by 5 min and raise $500.
• Cook at least one meal per week.
• Finish/launch my website.
• Bungee jump.
• Volunteer at least once per month.
• Create/maintain a monthly budget.
  
• Get a realistic idea of how much house I can afford and work towards home ownership.
• Get together with local friends at least once per month.
• Create/launch personal project.
• Travel outside of the continent.
• Take at least one vacation.

I'm ready to make this year even better than the last. Here goes nothing.

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~ Hal Borland

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. ~ Oprah Winfrey

The Final Final Update

28 by 28

1. Complete my MEd program. - DONE! with distinction and accomplished my 4.0 goal!
2. Pass the National Counselor Exam. - I am now a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois.
3. Lose 20lbs more and keep it off. - This is the hardest thing I've had to do. I haven't lost any more lately and actually gained a lot (to me) due to the cruise and the holidays. I'll be on a new plan at the start of the year but back to my regular eating habits starting today. This has taught me how my emotions are tied to eating. I'm much more aware than I was. Even when I decide to gorge on chicken nachos or a ridiculous mix from Cold Stone, I know why. One day I'll actually stop myself. Next goal? Maybe.
4. Maintain a workout regimen. - I have been able to do this at certain periods. This is usually tied to what is going on in my life but I'm learning to make it a priority.
5. Try meditation. - Haven't done this seriously. I was in the middle of setting up a space in my home when I had to move. Haven't gotten back to it yet.
6. Visit Canada. - This didn't happen but it is no longer a priority. I realized that I had already been to Canada to see Niagara Falls when I visited Cornflake Girl. My only reason for going was to have been to all the countries in North America. So, I may make it or I may not. No biggie.
7. Apply/Be prepared to apply to doctoral programs. - Reevaluating... - I'm not ready yet. I want to work in my field for a bit. And decide what I want to do. Plus with the economy, funding is uncertain. So we will see.
8. Participate in an AIDS Walk/Run. - I did it! I actually ran and raised $150. I'll do it again and reduce my time and increase my donations.
9. Color my hair. I cut it! - Not gonna color it. I loved the look but not the dryness and damage from the last time I colored it. It's so short now and my main goal is longer, stronger curls. So no color. For now.
10.Travel outside of North America. - Done. See pictures. Thanks Kismet. Probably wouldn't have done it without you.
11. Take a dance class or 3. - I took salsa and bellydancing classes. I also took a pole dancing workshop but it was after my birthday. Hopefully, there will be more to come in the new year.
12. Perfect 28 new dishes. - I don't really know what happened with this. I've tried a lot of new dishes with the vegan thing and dieting. I love cooking more beans and vegetables. I haven't counted, but I am learning to cook better food and make better eating choices.
13. Create a professional website. - This is still in the making. I need more professional photos but I will get it done by spring.
14. Go to a play, museum or something artistic once a month. - I was able to do this a couple of times but definitely not every month.
15. Complete an art class. - I kept putting this one off since I was thinking of moving but I will definitely take at least one in the coming year.
16. Create a vision board. - It turned out differently than I imagined but I did it. I love it. I just have to look at it more.
17. Skydive. - I did it. It was amazing.
18. Call 1 friend per week. - Um, yeah. This so hasn't happened consistently. Don't even know how I still have friends.
19. Take tennis lessons. - I don't think I want to learn to play tennis. It was just an idea and I think it was linked to someone else who played and the fact that there were courts at my old gym. If I learn great, if I don't I'll live. I've been thinking about racquetball since they have courts at my new gym.
20. Volunteer for the hotline at least once a month. - I didn't do this and I am looking for new volunteer opportunities since the hotline is too much like my job.
21. Learn to swim. - Haven't done this either. I do want to learn.
22. Teach myself sign language. - I haven't done this either. I wanted to learn to help my niece but I just teach myself, and review with her, the words she learns in school.
23. Attend one social event per month. (Thanks T.) - Haven't paid attention but I think I have. I'll probably up it to once per week.
24. Dedicate one day per month to myself. (Thanks BL.) - Somehow, someway, I've done this often, usually unintentionally.
25. Read half the books on my reading list. - Um, yeah no. There is a TV in my bedroom at mom's house. I've also had trouble being still and connecting to anything recently. That is definitely required for reading. I hope I'm able to settle down a little bit and regain some focus in the new year.
26. Write a blog post at least once every two weeks. - Some times I did this. Sometimes I didn't but given the number of posts on my new blog, I guess it averages out.
27. Treat myself to a makeover - hair, makeup, wardrobe. - Um, I think I kinda did this. I have to be more consistent at putting effort into what I look like.
28. Create and stick to a realistic monthly budget. - I haven't done this but have somehow managed. My main goal was not to run out of money before I found a job. Next year, I'll actually set a savings goal.
29. Study, read, blog, etc. in a public place at least once every two weeks. - I didn't do this consistently either but it was just to get myself out of the house and to better focus on studying and possibly meet new people.
30. Learn to let people go. - This will always be a process. I think I'm getting better with it but I need to be more direct about it.

Maybe I should have sent this list out to my friends instead of just the things I actually did. Then, they wouldn't think I was bragging. I learned I can do things that don't require a long term commitment or me asking other people to join me. Over the next year, I will work on committing to things and reaching out to others to help me, listen to me, or just join me on some randomness. I plan to finalize and post my next set of goals by the end of the year. Though I didn't do nearly all that I set out to do, it has been an amazing year and journey.

It is a most mortifying reflection for a man to consider what he has done, compared to what he might have done. ~ Samuel Johnson

Updates

It's been a while. I've been a little crazy with starting work, studying for my exam, and then trying to return to life as usual.

• I started my job. - I love it. I love what I do. I love the schedule. I love the flexibility and all the holidays we get. I love that going on the cruise within my probationary period won't be a problem.
• I passed the National Counselor Exam! - All of that studying (and money) paid off. I'm just waiting on the state to issue my license.
• My birthday is approaching. - Yes. I'm making another list. I'm asking for your help on this one too so get your ideas ready. I get health and dental coverage on my birthday! You know I'm getting old when I get excited about being able to go to the doctor.
  
• The cruise is approaching. - It's a little more than 30 days away. I'm excited but I need to get back in the gym. The blog isn't the only thing that's been neglected over the last few weeks. Plus, my trainer bounced and now I have to find a new one that fits my schedule and will make me go hard. I tried this new guy on Saturday and he was trying to go easy on me. I'm giving him another shot on Saturday though. I'm gonna try to keep up with spiderlgs and make it to the gym 4-5 times per week.

Now that my life is back to normal, I'll try to get back to my daily randomness.

A Little Bit Closer

Some of you have heard me mention the exam that I need to take or have at least seem it on my 28 by 28. It has been a long process of applications, fees, and waiting. Yesterday, I received the email that I've been waiting months for saying that I am eligible to take the National Counselor Exam. I registered for the exam last night and I will take it on Friday, November 6 at 9:00am CST. I started preparing months ago which lets you know how important this is. I am a serious procrastinator. (Studying is not a strength of mine. So please send well wishes, prayers, study tips, and reminders to get back to work.) I am focused. I am ready to take the next step to becoming a licensed professional counselor. I am hopeful that a job will insert itself on that path soon.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. ~Henry Ford

Goapele lyrics

Goapele - Closer Video - Goapele Music Videos

Music Videos by VideoCure

28 Days...

is the time it takes to complete the 7 modules of the 4-day diet. I've tried this diet a few times before and I think I made to the middle of the third phase. For the next 28 days I am going to attempt to follow the diet plan. Why now?

• I am less than 2 months from birthday have not reached my goal weight.
• I am a little more than 2 months away from a cruise.
• I have been working out consistently. I've seen improvements but my weight hasn't really budged.
• I have to reduce my body fat percentage.
  
• It's time to push myself to get the results I want.
• I'm not really doing anything else.

Here is a review of the diet from WebMD. If you are looking to lose a few pounds, check it out and join me.

The 4 Day Diet: What It Is

Are you tired of strict diets that offer the same foods every day? If you like variety and a focus on winning mind games, The 4 Day Diet may be the diet plan for you.

You're not going to lose weight in just four days, as you might infer from the title. Instead, The 4 Day Diet plan is a series of seven phases or modules, each lasting four days, with an expected weight loss of 10-12 pounds over 28 days. During each module, you focus on specific foods or food categories (no calorie counting) and exercise recommendations.

Today, I ran my first 5k in the AIDS RunWalk. I struggled but I finished. I also had a breakthrough. I think I know what my next long-term project will be. I'll tell more later as I flesh it out. Now, it's time to rest and reflect on the day's accomplishments, breakthroughs, and insights.

None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Phone Calls...

I think I have made it more than clear that I hate making phone calls. I put it off until the last minute in my personal life and even at work. I just hate picking up the phone. However, over the last few months, I've tried to do it more and I've truly enjoyed the results. I've had conversations about everything - life, love, astrology, purchasing a home. Nothing makes me feel better than spending an hour or so catching up with my girls, both near and far. It may take a couple of days or weeks to get in touch but each time I hear their voice I'm reminded of our wonderful friendship. So despite not reaching my weekly goal, I'm so glad I made picking up the phone a priority. I only hope to get better at it.

“A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely.”
~ Pam Brown

Skydiving

Freefalling

I finally checked skydiving off of my 28 by 28! I thought about doing it so many times this summer. Today, I made the appointment and drove out to MiddleofNowhere, IL. I was nervous on the phone, thought I was getting a migraine before I even got to the highway, and had second thoughts about going alone as I got closer to the place. Ironically, once I signed away all of my legal rights, the nerves went away. I sat around for a couple of uneventful hours waiting for my turn. I got a few butterflies right before we jumped but I was fine overall. The freefall was scary and exhilarating. I struggled to catch my breath and still try to take decent pics and make a decent video. When we reached 5,000ft, I actually pulled the cord for the parachute! I was told that only 1 in 4 people actually do it and I was the first person with my instructor to pull it today. The view was amazing, even if it was mostly corn and soybean fields. I could see the campus of NIU in the distance and a faint and cloudy view of the city. I had a lot of fun and I can't wait to do it again.

Skydiving was both an exercise in trust and self-confidence/determination. It also symbolized my current position in life. Without any real commitments or responsibilities right now, I feel like I am on top of the world, weighing my options, and contemplating when and how to take the leap. Taking that leap is both exciting and a little frightening. This jump taught me that I can rely on myself and someone else. Before going up, I was a little worried that I would freeze up - I wouldn't get into the proper position, I wouldn't pull the cord, I wouldn't even want to get out of the plane. I did each of these tasks with ease and even better than most, according to Paul the traveling skydiving instructor. I worried that I wouldn't be able to trust this man with my life. But I did. It was a little awkward having a stranger all in my personal space. I was physically closer to this man that I just met than I've been with anyone in a long time, but I felt safe. It was great knowing that I was in control but, if for some reason, I didn't rise to the challenge, someone else was there to make sure that I landed safely. I'm going to try to apply this to my real life - taking the leap and doing the work on my own while still trusting that someone will have my back if I fall.

I am going to jump out of a plane today. That is all for now.