I find this question strange, awkward, and impossible to answer. That's exactly how I felt when I went to drop off my clothes at the Salvation Army and the guy asked why I didn't have any diamonds on my left hand. I swiftly replied "that's not for me to answer." However, upon further reflection, I had to admit that I have a lot of responsibility for my current relationship status. This wasn't the first time I thought about it. In fact, the question "Ready to get married?" is prominently displayed on my vision board as a reminder for me to figure out if I'm ready or if it is even something I want. So I'm going to attempt to make a list of reasons I'm not married or, more accurately, why I'm perpetually single. Here goes...
- I'm fiercely independent.
- I'm equally as codependent.
- I don't trust people.
- I'm shy and awkward.
- I've always had bad bedroom feng shui.
- I don't demand enough of others.
- I can and do take care of myself.
- I get what I want, not what others think I should have.
- I'm educated. (Not that it's a bad thing but it's been a problem for few guys.)
- I have a hard outer shell.
- I'm too mushy on the inside.
- I fear rejection.
- I have daddy issues.
- I don't go out.
- I work in female-dominated fields.
- I won't let you be right "just because."
- I've been thoroughly trained on the cycle of violence and won't tolerate even the tiniest attempts to control me.
- I find safety in invisibility.
- I have a very clear picture of how I will meet my husband (in a doctoral program) but I'm not in that situation.
- I don't really know what I want in a partner. (Could be a good thing.)
- I fight dirty. Yes, I know the rules of fair fighting. I don't follow them.
- I value my freedom to do as I please without taking another person into account.
Enough painful honesty for one night... If you're bold enough, tell me what I missed or share reasons you think you're in your current relationship status, whatever that may be.
"You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere." ~ Unknown
"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them." ~ Sex in the City
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2 comments:
I love this post.
Of course, we've had variations of this convo before and instead of putting the both of us on blast, we shall discuss in more detail over the phone or as always, on my couch. I'll supply the wine.
@ putting us on blast - If you only knew how tempted I've been to delete or edit this post since last night... I've decided to own (some of) my issues publicly and begin to work on them.
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